Tag Archives: Short Story

Bacon and Rollins! new story on Wattpad

I’ve just added my tiny weirdo tale “Henry Rollins and the Better Butter Bacon Burger” to Wattpad. The infamous Red Tash once dared me to write a story about bacon and Henry Rollins on a day they were both trending on the twitterz, so I damn well did it. It’s a little less than a thousand words, but the bizarro waitress character stuck in my brain-guts and found herself being a new favorite for a lot of people who read FURR this past winter. FURR, by the way, is “A modern-day (grim) fairy tale full of werewolf strippers, goth-rock wizards and a shaman named Bob Dylan.” It’s also my newest novel, due back this fall (October 2016 from Tyche Books!)

Now go check out the menu!



Axel Howerton – Writing From The Shadows – Learn how to write hardboiled/noir!

Say what? Want to learn how to toss around the bullets, booze and badassery in your short fiction? Let me show you how!

images.list.co.uk_flyer-backI’ll be teaching a course on Hardboiled/Noir short fiction in the new year at the Alexandra Writers Centre!


Short Fiction | Writing from the Shadows
Axel Howerton
January 13, 2016 (10 weeks)
Member Price: $210
Non-member Price: $270

Steeped in the traditions of pulp fiction and hardboiled legends like Raymond Chandler and Dashiel Hammett, spend 10 weeks with Axel Howerton taking an intensive look at the tropes, traditions and templates that define and enrich the hardboiled and noir mysteries of yesterday and today. This course is great for those who love to write short stories and want to try something a little different, or for those who already write noir or hardboiled and want to hone their skills.

Previous Short Story courses recommended.

Excerpt – Nocturnal Omissions – Bloody Valentine continues!

As promised, a short extraction of my WIP for #AStoryAMonth , this one geared specifically to honour Women in Horror Month.

ClubbingThe music is pumping. Thundering. Stomping through my body and amplifying the trembling beating of my heart. Each step vibrates through my bones, undulating, reverberating out from the inside. Shockwaves pounding out to rock hard nipples and flushed genitalia. Every soft spot on my body feels full and raw, every inch of me is wet. I can feel my brain floating in it, untethered and dizzy from the relentless sway and bounce, a ship tossed in a raging tsunami of spinal sauce and ten-ton beats. I don’t know it anymore, but my feet are moving. My legs. My hips. I don’t feel them, but there they go, bobbing and weaving like a goddamn champ, moving to the endless rise of the music. Bigger, higher, faster, stronger. Where else can it go? The roof is holding it in against all perceived laws of physics. It should be tearing at the seams, spinning off into the night as the tornado of sound and rythm and pure fucking sonic fury whips us all up into the stars. The purple is hitting me hard now.

I see familiar faces through the strobe light fog. They wave and shout and smile and nod. YEAH! they say, you fucking GO!. Screaming what I’m feeling in my knees.

DJ Rothstein at the decks. He gives me the high sign as I ping-pong through the crowd, live-wire red and lightning fast, a pinball machine on light-speed. I know I’m headed into the inevitable. I know I’m almost there, but it seems like a lifetime and a split-second, a flash of eternity on a dirty mirror.

Then it’s over. Cardiac Arrest. Rothstein drops the needle flat. Straight cut. Rothstein with his spiky hair and his green muppet parka. He drops a slow-jam for the drunk office girls and lipstick lesbians. My heart is skipping beats like a mambo. Purple shines off of every surface.

I fail to notice that I’ve reached my checkpoint. Mission achieved. Level unlocked. I’m smiling goon-like into the ocean of sweat and flesh. Arturo’s voice growls in my ear as he pulls me down into his booth. The residual spirit sweats of the last song are running warm down my thighs. I hope that’s what it is. I see the Senator’s blood. I hear his voice when Arturo groans Hey Girl, like a low-rent over-flamboyant Ryan Gosling. Ever the charmer-out-of-time, six months to eighteen years late on every joke, lost on every reference. Doesnt stop him from being The Man. I had a problem. Arturo would have an answer. I needed Arturo to have an answer.

He packed me into the booth, already preloaded with high-rent call girls and horny upscale dudes in Armani and Brooks Brothers. He waved a hand and  the waitress appeared like a ghost, phasing into existence through the wastelands of my periphery.

© Axel Howerton 2014

And don’t forget to check out the BLOODY VALENTINE blog hop for all of the excellent participating writers and fiends.

And, if you comment here, or on the previous post (where you can leave your personal anecdotes on your worst V-Day or worst date experiences), you can win one of SIX prizes of either my best-selling hardboiled comedy novel HOT SINATRA, or the super exclusive, available-only-here companion collection, DECONSTRUCTING MOSS

Let It Snow… Bestseller!

LetItSnoweFestYou may remember a little thing that came out last holiday season, a little collection of stories set in author’s pre-existing universes. It featured some Red Tash, a little Jack Wallen zombie madness, some cool stuff from Mercedes M. Yardley, Connie Roberts-Huth, Jessica McHugh, T. Lee Ayers and Claudia Lefeve, some Tim Tash SFF, some Dickensian sci-fi from Marian Allen, and a little touch of Manlove & Kickerdick. Yes, that Manlove and Kickerdick, in a Christmas story… with snow and holiday garlands and festive balls…

Well, that book is now a certified Amazon bestseller, top of the ranks for Free Kindle Books: Christmas

What? Yeah. I know it’s July. What of it? According to Amazon Literary Law, it still counts. Not only that, but it was a finalist for Best Anthology in the 2013 eFestival of Words.

How you like me now, son?

Honestly, I’m just stoked to have something place in those damnable Amazon ratings. Go pick it up for FREE and enjoy the sound of jackboots pitter-pattering on the rooftops of L.A.’s most exclusive and stately underground brothel.

Then go pick up a copy of Clones, Fairies and Monsters in the Closet for the Manlove & Kickerdick origin story 999 Problems…

Which all leads to… HOT SINATRA

The most criminally under-read crime novel of the year. 😉