Tag Archives: contest

Excerpt – Nocturnal Omissions – Bloody Valentine continues!

As promised, a short extraction of my WIP for #AStoryAMonth , this one geared specifically to honour Women in Horror Month.

ClubbingThe music is pumping. Thundering. Stomping through my body and amplifying the trembling beating of my heart. Each step vibrates through my bones, undulating, reverberating out from the inside. Shockwaves pounding out to rock hard nipples and flushed genitalia. Every soft spot on my body feels full and raw, every inch of me is wet. I can feel my brain floating in it, untethered and dizzy from the relentless sway and bounce, a ship tossed in a raging tsunami of spinal sauce and ten-ton beats. I don’t know it anymore, but my feet are moving. My legs. My hips. I don’t feel them, but there they go, bobbing and weaving like a goddamn champ, moving to the endless rise of the music. Bigger, higher, faster, stronger. Where else can it go? The roof is holding it in against all perceived laws of physics. It should be tearing at the seams, spinning off into the night as the tornado of sound and rythm and pure fucking sonic fury whips us all up into the stars. The purple is hitting me hard now.

I see familiar faces through the strobe light fog. They wave and shout and smile and nod. YEAH! they say, you fucking GO!. Screaming what I’m feeling in my knees.

DJ Rothstein at the decks. He gives me the high sign as I ping-pong through the crowd, live-wire red and lightning fast, a pinball machine on light-speed. I know I’m headed into the inevitable. I know I’m almost there, but it seems like a lifetime and a split-second, a flash of eternity on a dirty mirror.

Then it’s over. Cardiac Arrest. Rothstein drops the needle flat. Straight cut. Rothstein with his spiky hair and his green muppet parka. He drops a slow-jam for the drunk office girls and lipstick lesbians. My heart is skipping beats like a mambo. Purple shines off of every surface.

I fail to notice that I’ve reached my checkpoint. Mission achieved. Level unlocked. I’m smiling goon-like into the ocean of sweat and flesh. Arturo’s voice growls in my ear as he pulls me down into his booth. The residual spirit sweats of the last song are running warm down my thighs. I hope that’s what it is. I see the Senator’s blood. I hear his voice when Arturo groans Hey Girl, like a low-rent over-flamboyant Ryan Gosling. Ever the charmer-out-of-time, six months to eighteen years late on every joke, lost on every reference. Doesnt stop him from being The Man. I had a problem. Arturo would have an answer. I needed Arturo to have an answer.

He packed me into the booth, already preloaded with high-rent call girls and horny upscale dudes in Armani and Brooks Brothers. He waved a hand and  the waitress appeared like a ghost, phasing into existence through the wastelands of my periphery.

© Axel Howerton 2014

And don’t forget to check out the BLOODY VALENTINE blog hop for all of the excellent participating writers and fiends.

And, if you comment here, or on the previous post (where you can leave your personal anecdotes on your worst V-Day or worst date experiences), you can win one of SIX prizes of either my best-selling hardboiled comedy novel HOT SINATRA, or the super exclusive, available-only-here companion collection, DECONSTRUCTING MOSS

The Bloody Valentine blog hop and FREE books!

Mega-talented author and pal, A.F. Stewart is throwing her annual VD shindig (Valentine’s Day, you bastards) and I’ve been invited to share a little madness and get in on the topic of Bad Bad Love.

Head over to ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK to meet some of the other Dark Lovelies involved (including many of the usual suspects, like Amy K. Marshall, Nina D’Arcangela, Clarissa Johal, Barbara Custer and Chris Verstraete)

Though you should be sure to check out ALL of the players!

As usual, I am running like a decapitated chicken ass-backwards through an endless maze of crazed convolution, so bear with me. I will be back later with a new poem, an extraction from this months ASAM (geared especially towards “Women in Horror Month”) and giving away a few e-book copies of Hot Sinatra and the EXCLUSIVE only-get-it-here companion collection Deconstructing Moss (which is as goddamned romantic as you can get).


Speaking of Women in Horror month, check out this list on The Examiner of top Female Horror Writers (including a ton of friends and colleagues like The McHugh and the aforementioned D’Arcangela, as well as Carole Gill, Mercedes Yardley, Leigh M. Lane, Lori Lopez and the incredible Billie Sue Mosiman. My list would include C.W. LaSart, Red Tash and the incomparable Amy Marshall, but that’s me 😉

So until I return, why not drop me a little anecdote about your WORST date, WORST V-Day or WORST anti-love connection.

SIX of you are going to WIN BIG!


That’s right, kids! A mega-contest to celebrate the relaunch of HOT SINATRA with its brand-spanking new cover.

Starting Saturday, July 6 and running to July 13, you can enter in a myriad of ways for a myriad of prizes including this Super Gigante Mega Gift Pack of Epic Legend:


**FOUR** autographed Axel Howerton books, including the LAST original cover copy of Hot Sinatra, the only Officially Autographed copy of Clone, Fairies and Monsters in the Closet, my last copy of Dark Moon Digest #3 and the last copy of A Career Guide to Your Job in Hell signed by 8 out of ten authors.  Also includes my last shot glass with the original artwork, a custom beaded bookmark (may not be as shown) and assorted miscellany from the prize barrel.

2nd prize is the Axel Howerton Digital Library of Spectacular Excellence!: eBook copies (in the file type of your choosing) of Hot Sinatra, the super-secret, double-exclusive companion mini-collection Deconstructing Moss, my original mini-anthology Living Dead at Zigfreidt & Roy, and a couple more digital surprises!



3rd prize is the Moss Cole Digital Kick-Ass Action Pack eBook set of Hot Sinatra and Deconstructing Moss!

4th, 5th and 6th prizes of an eBook copy of the book that Rocked the Casbah, Hot Sinatra!

Return here on Saturday morning for more details and the official cover reveal! And visit Evolved Publishing on Saturday to enter the contest and check out a special visit by the man himself, star of Hot Sinatra, Mossimo Cole!

MossCole HS